Journey: Indianapolis, IN - Minneapolis, MN
Notable Cities: Chicago, Madison, Waterloo (again?!), St. Paul, Chippewa Falls (of Jack Dawson fame.)
Total Miles Driven: 1775.4
Kate Gosslin Hair Count: 5
Warning: This post will be about as exciting as the drive from Indianapolis to Minneapolis; i.e. more boring than an episode of 60 Minutes.
I have a few regrets from this day. One was not leaving earlier. Another is not being able to stop and check out Chicago. And a third was driving through Illinois. What a terrible, terrible place. I was already bored out of my mind when I crossed the boarder from Indiana into Illinois, as all that surrounded me was miles of farm lands and the occasional silo. I’m pretty sure that I now know how to grow grains, merely by proxy. But, minutes after crossing over into Illinois, I yearned for that feeling of monotony.
The miles leading up to Chicago were nothing terrible, and driving in Chicago was great. I felt like I was driving on the FDR, and that bridge leading into the skyline was reminiscent of the George Washington Bridge. In the Slinky traffic surrounding Chi Town (I’ve driven through it; therefore, I can totally call it that now), I lowered my windows and took in the familiar sounds and scents of the city. For the first time in days, I felt comfortable with my surroundings, and was relaxed. Some may think I’m crazy for finding tranquility in bumper to bumper traffic, but some of my greatest thrills are cruising down the FDR drive on the East Side of Manhattan, or dodging cabs on 3rd Avenue. A feeling of joy overcame me, but was soon ripped away.
Enter the dreaded Illinois Tollway. WHAT?! Of course we have plenty of tolled highways back east; more than probably in any other region. But, paying a toll every ten miles?! Well, that’s just silly. Considering it cost me a good $8 to pass through Illinois, you would think the roads would at least be paved well. Nope. Man, there is just nothing redeeming about northern Illinois. No. Wait. That’s a lie. There was one redeeming thing I noted; a license plate reading “DABEARS.” Unfortunately for Illinois, the plate was from Wisconsin.
Ah, Wisconsin. Where the smell of cow wafts through your fan system, and the rolling hills give you a quaint view of nothingness. I did quite enjoy Wisconsin, but most likely only in comparison to Illinois. I was tempted to stop at a German restaurant called “German Haus” (very clever), but was already running late. I had to make it to Minneapolis by 20.00 to see my good friend Emily perform at her local improv theatre. Best intentions. I arrived in Minneapolis at 22.00. Welp.
While I missed Emily’s performance, I did get a gorgeous view of St. Paul and Minneapolis as I drove into the city. Talk about some gorgeous skylines. It’s a shame that they’re in flyover land, because they truly are beautiful cities. My time spent in Minneapolis was the best of my entire trip.
I met Emily at Brave New Workshop uptown, and though missing her set, caught the end of some of her friends performing. We then joined two others at a place that seems better set in LA called Chino Latino. That place ruined French Toast for me. Never again in my life do I wish to have French Toast unless from Chino Latino. And for a whopping $3?! You must be joking. The decor was trendy, and the clientele a healthy mix of douche bag and hipster douche bag. Just the way I like it. What more could be expected from a place whose outside marquee is nothing more than shiny sequins blowing in the breeze?
It was a good ending to an irritating day, and despite exhaustion I was excited to wake early the next morning and see what else this adorable little city had to offer me.
