Journey: Boston - Toronto
Notable Cities Passed: Rome, Liverpool, Amsterdam, Poland, Manchester, Waterloo. Also the less ironic: Buffalo, Albany, Rochester, Niagara Falls.
Total Miles Driven: 555.9
Accidentally Left Behind: Blackberry charger.
My trek has officially begun. With less than two days notice, I packed up my car and set out on the road. I knew instantly that my new British TomTom (henceforth known solely as Thomas) would be good friends as he used comforting words like “yards” and “motorway.” I should note that while I was brought up in America where yards is a less prominent scale of reference, I had no concept of distance until I began work as a graphic designer in London where it was necessary to print things in the correct measurement, hence my comfort with yards.
I have driven to Toronto before, and knew what I was in for. The Berkshires would most likely be the only moment of interest. The Mass Pike? Snore. Upstate New York? Also snore. Preparing for pure monotony I stoked my iPod full of my favourite music, books on tape, and practice German language audio. What I didn’t prepare myself for was the fact that my car has only one power outlet. While it wasn’t a problem for most of the trip, there came a time, in the peak of Snoresville, NY, where Thomas’s battery died. I didn’t think much of it when I removed my iPod from the power source, and plugged dear Thomas in.
Question. What did residents in Upstate New York do before CD players and iPods, because dear sweet Christ the radio is schiße. My choices were as follows: Country, any three No Doubt songs, Nickleback, or the song “Drops of Jupiter.” I kid you not. As I flipped through the stations, this was all that played through my speakers. I must have heard “Drops of Jupiter” on three separate stations. There was one station that played Murray from Flight of the Conchords saying “band meeting!” as a bumper, and my hopes were raised. What played following the bumper, you ask? Why DROPS OF JUPITER, of course. Why would I expect any differently?
I eventually made it to the US-Canadian boarder, despite the desire to drive off the side of the road each time “Don’t Speak” came on the radio. Crossing the boarder was highly uneventful. While the boarder control policeman was confused that I was only spending one night in Canada and it was already nearing 20:00, but he let me in without much thought. And I was officially in Ontario.
Okay. I’m from, and driven in, two of the noted most difficult areas to drive in: NY and Boston. NYC taxis and short-tempered Irish-Americans did not fully prepare me for driving in Ontario. Between the traffic, construction, aggressive drivers, highways that are really exits, and exits that are really highways both Thomas and I were overwhelmed. For the first time in my driving career, I actually had to turn my radio off to concentrate on the road. Big deal.
Finally after fighting my way through usually mild-mannered Canadians, I arrived at my friend Mark’s apartment. Someone once told me that “Toronto is just like New York, only cleaner*.” While I know this is complete bollocks, from the view from Mark’s 22nd floor balcony, I could understand the sentiment.
I was feeling quite good about my decision from up there, and for the first time since being back in The States, I wasn’t “homesick.” I would say, quite a successful start.
*Note to all Torontonians: Never, just never say this to a New Yorker, especially when you’re perusing their streets of Manhattan. No where is “just like NY” and the attitude of it being dirty is just uncalled for. Please and thank you.
